Amanda Mulcahy, APAM

Mother of one, Sydney, New South Wales

My daughter is 12 months old, her name is Harper and she was born right in the middle of the pandemic in July last year.

The pandemic was a little bit of a blessing in disguise for me because I got to quarantine and work from home for a lot of the late stages of my pregnancy.

It really does take a village to raise a child.

My family is all in Western Australia, so that’s really hard as I’m in Sydney.

Harper didn’t meet them for six months because of COVID-19 restrictions.

My partner’s family is in Sydney and they are very supportive and are able to help out.

My mother-in-law came and stayed with us a couple of nights a week, which helped me recover and bounce back and have some time to look after myself and get out for a walk.

My partner also took paternity leave; I’ve gone back to work and he’s taken about three months off to care for Harper.

I had a lot of people ask me ‘Do you really want to go back full-time; are you sure?’ and I don’t think my partner got the same kinds of questions.

In that regard I feel like we’ve come a long way but we’ve still got a way to go.

I work for the Bureau of Health Information, which is part of NSW Health.

Our role is to report results about the performance of the NSW public health system.

I also started on the APA Board of Directors in 2018 and I’ve just been re-elected for a second term.

And I do some clinical work at a small private hospital in Sydney, casual work on weekends.

I haven’t done as much of that since I had Harper but I was able to do a little bit during my maternity leave, which gave me confidence going back into the workplace.

Returning to work has given me a much better appreciation for it; I am more open-minded about flexible working arrangements.

NSW Health has amazing flexible work policies in place.

It’s a very breastfeeding-friendly workplace and is accredited by the Australian Breastfeeding Association, which is great because I had a room that I could go pump in and sterilise the bottles in.

Before I had Harper I felt like she would fit into our lives, but now that I’ve had her I realise that it’s the other way around.

They’re smarter than they look, these little babies, because they end up flipping it around!

I think you can be so organised and you can have all these supports, but you also have to take one day at a time because every day is different.

I can’t tell you the number of times you think you’re organised and ready to go out and then Harper does a giant poo or vomits everywhere and suddenly you’re running late.

You have to appreciate the moments where you feel like you’re on top of it, but then know that it’s probably going to be followed by the next challenge.

When I get home I always make sure I put my phone down, put my laptop away, take off my work clothes and have a bit of a play with Harper.

We organise her dinner and bedtime and I make sure to be mindful that I’m not thinking about work.

Otherwise the thoughts run wild and you end up thinking about work even though you’re not working.

I found the Ahpra resources about professional development (PD) and physiotherapy return to practice to be very useful.

The flexibility offered through the APA’s online PD and education also really helps.

Your life changes when you have a baby because you can’t go out and do the things you used to.

But in some ways there’s a little bit more time.

Now that she’s sleeping I can do a bit more in the evenings.

My advice to new parents is to enjoy every little moment, because they really do grow up so fast.

But also don’t feel guilty about doing work if you want to or spending time with your baby if you want to spend time with your baby.

I think there’s still a bit of mum guilt that happens, but you need to look after yourself; if you’re happy and healthy then that’s the best for your baby as well.

Sam Taylor, APAM

Father of one, Gold Coast, Queensland

My partner Eliza and I welcomed our first son, August, into the world in the early hours of 2021.

We met overseas working on superyachts and both decided to make the move back home to pursue careers in the health field.

I came from a big sporting background and I wanted to be the physio for some sort of sporting team.

But, as I entered the physio profession, I decided to look at options that would give me work–life balance to enable me to be a present and available father.

This career aspiration shift has me working at a great private practice five minutes down the road.

August is now six months old—how time flies!

We knew it was going to be challenging and that it was going to change life as we knew it, although nothing really prepares you for the fatigue.

I seriously have no idea how Eliza is still able to function.

She hasn’t slept more than four hours through the night in seven months now.

I think it’s pretty normal.

To keep the house running smoothly, I’ve moved into the spare room so that I can get a decent night’s sleep during the week.

From a father’s perspective, you don’t realise how hopeless you feel in terms of being able to offer support when the baby is so reliant on the mother.

The support offered is more about running the household, doing errands and just being on deck for anything your family needs.

Early on I was working clinically two short days, 1 pm to 6 pm, and two massive days, 7 am to 6 pm.

I was coming home absolutely drained from the long days and wasn’t able to help out around the house.

I spoke to my boss, who has two children under the age of four, about it and he was able to alter the scheduling for me straight away.

That’s one of the great things about where I work, at 8th Ave Physio in Palm Beach on the Gold Coast.

I’ve got someone that’s a couple of years ahead of me who is understanding about what it’s like raising kids.

He’s helped me out massively, particularly if I need time off for anything, I can ask for it.

I now finish work three of the five nights at 4 pm.

This allows me to get home and help out, especially during that tap-out period when Eliza has lost her energy.

I’m now there for bath-time, story-time and bedtime on those three nights through the week.

Since becoming a father, I’ve realised that when I’m home, I’m home.

The way I see the world now has changed, too.

I’m not as stressed and career-driven as I used to be.

I find myself thinking, ‘Oh well, it doesn’t matter, I don’t have time for that.’

I value my time more than anything now, more than I ever have.

To get PD, exercise and other bits and pieces done, I’ve had to chisel out time in the early mornings.

I now wake up between 4 am and 5 am.

This allows me to be present at work and most importantly when I’m around my family.

My advice to new or prospective fathers is to speak with your boss and get a clear understanding of how time scheduling changes can take place if needed.

I’d also highly recommend others to prioritise some time for themselves—exercising and doing things that make you feel good.

Inevitably that will make you a better partner and parent.

Get your PD workshops in and look ahead at potential online, learn-as-you-go options for when bub is around.

Lastly, get your dinner date nights in as it’s likely that you won’t get to experience them for a while.

I have also started an Instagram and website aimed towards helping new dads.

I called it Dad Source, as in the dad’s source of information.

I found that there was nothing out there for dads really, or at the time there wasn’t.

The idea was to set up something where I could just dump information essentially, some of the things that I was learning as I went along.

You can find this on Instagram at @dad.source or click here to access the website.